The Coaching Habit Summary


Originally published at:

Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever

Develop “The Coaching Habit” and become a great coach for your employees.

About Michael Bungay Stanier

Michael Bungay Stanier is a bestselling author and the first recipient of the Canadian Coach of the Year award.

"The Coaching Habit Summary"

Most people have sometimes worked with a coach in their lives, whether it was a music teacher, a sports coach, or a manager at their workplace.

If you were one of the lucky people out there, the coach you had has taught you all the skills you need to have to perform specific tasks.

Also, you have probably become a much better person after he started coaching you.

Unfortunately, such experiences are not common. Most of the employees state that they did not notice any improvement at their work that derived from coaching.

So, if you are a manager, how can you make sure that your employees feel the difference after you have started working with them?

Well, first, you need to understand that during the coaching process, the light is not on you – it is on the employee.

Next, you need to develop a coaching habit.

You can develop such habit by deciding to coach your staff for ten minutes every day. Also, do these coaching sessions in an informal setting.

This is a very successful approach because coaching should become a part of your daily life, as well as the regular office environment.

Taking the time to build your coaching habit will teach your employees about self-sufficiency.

Shift your focus from performance to development.

We are not saying that performance is not important, but there is so much more you can do if you focus on those areas in which your employees can progress and grow.

But what is the process of coaching effectively?

Instead of just approving when your employee talks by simple nods, start your coaching with the kickstart question. The kickstart question is simple: What is on your mind.

After the employee answers it, and you have listened to him or her talk, continue with the AWE question (And what else?).

This question will make sure that the conversation does not stop at only one topic.

Key Lessons from “The Coaching Habit”

1. Listen More Than You Speak 2. Additional Questions for Your Toolbox 3. Make Room for Learning

Listen More Than You Speak

Good coaches let the employees they coach feel empowered by coming up with their own conclusions.

You have to teach your employees to be self-sufficient and listen more than you speak.

Offer advice only when necessary.

Additional Questions for Your Toolbox

  • The foundation question: What do you want?
  • The lazy question: How can I help you?
  • The strategic question: If you are saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?

Make Room for Learning

People do not automatically build a new habit or make use of new information.

They need to be able to reflect on new knowledge so they can experience a “click” moment.

To make room for learning, ask the learning question: What was most useful for you?

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“The Coaching Habit” Quotes

[bctt tweet="Advice is overrated. I can tell you something, and it’s got a limited chance of making its way into your brain’s hippocampus, the region that encodes memory. If I can ask you a question and you generate the answer yourself, the odds increase substantially." username="get12min"]

[bctt tweet=“Five times a second, at an unconscious level, your brain is scanning the environment around you and asking itself: Is it safe here? Or is it dangerous?” username=“get12min”]

[bctt tweet=“If this were a haiku rather than a book, it would read: Tell less and ask more. Your advice is not as good As you think it is.” username=“get12min”]

[bctt tweet=“You have to help people do more of the work that has impact and meaning.” username=“get12min”]

[bctt tweet=“So think less about what your habit can do for you, and more about how this new habit will help a person or people you care about.” username=“get12min”]