Originally published at: https://blog.12min.com/the-big-leap-summary/
Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level
Everyone has dreams, but not everyone lives them.
We tell you why, and show you how you can go from being a dreamer to being a doer.
Who Should Read “The Big Leap” and Why?“The Big Leap” is a book about dreams and fears, and how beating the fears and self-imposed limits can make all of those dreams come true.
We recommend this read to people who are trying to find the direction of their lives, or who are not satisfied with how life plays out so far, and want to transform their reality.
About Gay HendricksGay Hendricks is a bestselling self-help author and a psychologist who specializes in couple’s therapy.
"The Big Leap Summary"Our lives are determined by our behaviors, the challenges we take, and the excuses we make.
Sadly, we all have a dream which we never got to make real because of the excuses we constantly come up with.
We are driven and limited by fear of the unknown and fear of change.
To live a truly exceptional life you need to understand that no one ever promised you or told you that life is going to be easy.
The beauty of life is in fighting for what you want and the enjoyment you get after making a significant effort.
All of this time you are the one that is keeping away from a life of happiness.
Oddly, many humans resist happiness, self-imposing imaginary limits to how happy life should be.
And once they come close to their imaginary limit, they tend to sabotage themselves.
This is also connected to the fear of realizing your dreams and achieving your full potential, or what the author calls the upper limit mindset.
First, people tend to be afraid that when they become the best that they can be, there will run out of excuses to make their dreams come true.
Second, they think that once they realize their dreams, there will be nothing left to strive for.
If you want to truly experience success and be happy, you have to “cure” all of these unhealthy behaviors and beliefs.
And then, you have to take the big leap into the life of happiness.
This leap will not be easy to do – it requires a lot of confidence.
However, there are ways to overcome the fears and gain this confidence and finally, arrive at the place of bliss.
The first technique is breathing.
You have probably heard about the calming effects of breathing since it is used as a technique in meditation.
The breathing we are talking about is focused one, and lets you take control of your thoughts and fears and transform them into strengths.
Then, another problem is the upper limit mindset, which we already mentioned shortly above, which you can fix by not letting your guard down.
In fact, the problems arise only when you get the illusion that you have what you want, you let your guard down, and then become vulnerable to disappointments if things do not go as planned or wished.
To cure this mindset it is also important to recognize it, and you can do it by catching yourself when you start worrying.
So, the next time you feel worried, stop for a second and question the source that fuels these worries.
Finding the source will help you find the solution.
There are two types of worries you may have: the ones connected to issues you have control over, and the ones relating to issues you do not have control over.
If you are worried about something you can change, then stop worrying and start acting.
However, most of the times when you start questioning your worries, you will realize that they are not connected to something that depends on your actions, some of them are about issues and situations that have not yet arrived, and may never happen, and most of them are not even actual problems.
When you realize it is that kind of worry that is burdening you, accept that you cannot do anything to change it, and promise yourself to resolve the problem when it actually happens (if it does).
Life is too short to spend it worrying, wishing and questioning.
Instead of doing that, why don’t you just live it?
Key Lessons from “The Big Leap”1. We Are Imposing the Limits to Our Own Happiness 2. Do not Become a Victim of Fear and Self-Sabotage 3. Strive to Get to the Zone of Genius
We Are Imposing the Limits to Our Own HappinessOur possibilities are limited only by our minds.
Everything that we are doing nowadays was once believed to be impossible.
The same goes for happiness: believing that happy moments are rare and short will lead you to live a life lacking happiness.
Changing your mindset is the most crucial step in changing your reality.
Do not Become a Victim of Fear and Self-SabotageMany people sabotage themselves because of their fear of either failure or success.
We all have a belief of how much we deserve, and if we think we may get more than that, we tend to sabotage ourselves.
Because we believe that things that seem too good to be “true” certainly are.
This is called the upper limit mindset, which makes us complicate our lives and create unnecessary problems.
Strive to Get to the Zone of GeniusFour zones of work exist zone of incompetence, zone of competence, a zone of excellence and zone of genius. Of course, you should strive to work in the last one.
Do not think that being the best in what you do is something impossible – just remember the first lesson!
Challenge yourself and watch how your life transforms.
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“The Big Leap” Quotes[bctt tweet="Fear is excitement without the breath. Here’s what this intriguing statement means: the very same mechanisms that produce excitement also produce fear, and any fear can be transformed into excitement by breathing fully with it." username="get12min"]
[bctt tweet=“Letting yourself savor natural good feelings is a direct way to transcend your Upper Limit Problem. By extending your ability to feel positive feelings, you expand your tolerance for things going well in your life.” username=“get12min”]
[bctt tweet=“In my life, I’ve discovered that if I cling to the notion that something’s not possible, I’m arguing in favor of limitation. And if I argue for my limitations, I get to keep them.” username=“get12min”]
[bctt tweet=“Criticism and blame are addictions. They are costly addictions because they are the number-one destroyer of intimacy in close relationships.” username=“get12min”]
[bctt tweet=“I expand in abundance, success, and love every day, as I inspire those around me to do the same.” username=“get12min”]
Our Critical Review“The Big Leap” is a book about taking chances in life and finally making relevant decisions, instead of just wishing for things to change.
It is a book which is highly motivational but sadly lacks practical advice, although there are some exercises which you can do.
In any case, if you do not feel motivated, we recommend you start here.