Originally published at: https://blog.12min.com/never-eat-alone-summary/
MicroSummary: Do you seek success in business? The secret, for networking master Keith Ferrazzi, is to meet new people. He discovered, early in life, that what distinguishes successful people were the way they used the power of relationships. In Never Eat Alone, he tells the actions and mental models he uses to connect with thousands of friends, colleagues, and people he has helped and who have already helped him.
Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a TimeBy making new friends, you’ll help others to start their process of building new friendships. Caring attitude with a dose of vulnerability is the perfect recipe for creating and maintaining strong interpersonal bonds.
Our summary of “Never Eat Alone” shows you why connections are valuable and how you can cultivate them.
Now, let’s get you prepared to get connected!
Who Should Read “Never Eat Alone”? and Why?We live in a time where a good feedback from someone is such a difficult thing to attain, and the bad one is spread within minutes. In such a situation, each person is forced to work on his/her communication skills and competencies that would help that particular individual to express itself better.
Here’s the secret:
The most challenging aspect that an average person experience during a communication is the struggle to transfer that sense of authority while speaking to the interlocutor. Of course, the process of creating such impeccable communication and connection is hard, but today’s digital time allows us many different ways to which we can always strive for perfection.
About Keith Ferrazzi
Keith Ferrazzi is an American-born author, businessman and a writer. He was born in 1966 in the United States, Pennsylvania, and obtained his bachelor degree from Harvard University.
He is the founder of Ferrazzi Greenlight, a Los Angeles based marketing, research, and sales consulting company. Tahl Raz despite working as an editor at Fortune Small Business, he is a frequent storyteller, an award-winning journalist, and a writer who has written many columns and posts for- “The Jerusalem Post, and “San Francisco Chronicle.”
Some colleagues have described the “Never Eat Alone” masterpiece as one of “the most outstanding and beneficial business books” of modern history.
"Never Eat Alone Summary"“Never Eat Alone”'s author Keith Ferrazzi is the excellent master networker who once said that his Palm Pilot has the nicknames and signatures of almost 5,000 people who will undoubtedly take all of his telephone calls.
You have to admit that Keith points out a strong claim.
He is among those lucky people who started in a peaceful home environment, later on, his social network career developed by assisting individuals and by simply explaining to them how to use different techniques for networking.
What exactly is Keith Ferrazzi’s stand?
Well, he advocates generosity above all. He underlines it as the most critical aspect of success. Such a point fall into Ferrazzi’s radical business concept philosophy, but according to him, this claim works 100%. It certainly deserves an opportunity so you can personally evaluate its impact.
If you suffer from social inactivity or wish to become more social, make new friends and expand your base of personal connections, then this is the book for you. It somehow contradicts introverts and their attitude (closed mindset) to stay home on Saturday nights and any other regular day.
Now, if you set high goals, you must work on your ability to create new personal connections and bonds with other random people.
According to one study, the businessmen hate one common thing - time delay. If you wish to be recognized as a powerful individual that has powerful connections, you must be generous with your time and have total respect for your social community.
What are we talking about?
“Super-connectors” is one critical term that represents people who are capable of linking different social media networks.
Never be afraid to start a conversation if you come with real intentions, your client or partner will recognize such an approach. Even relationships with family members are complicated if the family lacks an open mindset, everyone has to realize the value of goodwill.
We have a challenge for you. When you meet a new person, set up a standard and common interests with that particular person, and then see where that approach will take you as a unit.
Key Lessons from “Never Eat Alone”1. Place collective priorities above individual benefits 2. Every leader needs a plan, but never remain sticky attached to it 3. The first impression is vital, but if you do nothing afterward everything will be lost
Place collective priorities above personal benefitsIt is a pity that some company leaders still pride themselves on strict individualism attitude, most successful organizations are built on broad social and business network communities.
According to many, building and developing strong bonds transcends every talent or individual skills. You have to set collective priorities above personal gain; it is necessary that you improve your ability to connect with people personally on different matters. This single asset can represent the foundation for a successful career.
Every leader needs a plan, but never remain strictly attached to itA well-organized person prepares itself gradually and takes into consideration all scenarios. You always need a plan, but you have to stay flexible and open to different outcomes. You mustn't leave anything to chance.
Always use the Internet, read various books, reports and public relations materials to collect as much as possible information about the subject or company that you are visiting. Study the company’s short and long-term ﬁnancial reports to understand their current economic situation.
During the meeting, you’ll need to discover the company’s long-term motivation and vision and resolve any possible doubt that may occur in their minds.
The first impression is vital, but if you do nothing afterward everything will be lostAlways establish a rapport when you find yourself among new people, discuss interesting topics and regularly strive to display the mutual interests that you and your fellows have.
You’ve had a meeting, and everything went well; the next step is crucial - you have to send an email or call your Interlocutors within a day after you made your first initial contact. A great leader understands that follow-ups strengthen personal connections and communications.
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"Never Eat Alone" Quotes[bctt tweet="Success in any field, but especially in business is about working with people, not against them." username="getnuggetapp"]
[bctt tweet=“Real networking was about finding ways to make other people more successful.” username=“getnuggetapp”]
[bctt tweet=“I’ve come to believe that connecting is one of the most important business—and life—skill sets you’ll ever learn. Why? Because, flat out, people do business with people they know and like. Careers—in every imaginable field—work the same.” username=“getnuggetapp”]
[bctt tweet=“It’s better to give before you receive. And never keep score. If your interactions are ruled by generosity, your rewards will follow suit.” username=“getnuggetapp”]
[bctt tweet=“Poverty, I realized, wasn’t only a lack of financial resources; it was isolation from the kind of people who could help you make more of yourself.” username=“getnuggetapp”]
Our Critical Review“Never Eat Alone” shares the best methods for such services. You can count on his straightforward, fascinating and entertaining story that will motivate you and give you all the necessary tips required to enhance your social and business network.
| New Extended | Never Eat Alone Summary
Real Networking Means Making Others SuccessfulAs a boy, Keith Ferrazzi worked in a nearby town as a golf caddy in a country club. In his free time, he watched as the members of that club invested their time and money.
They focused on helping each other and investing in each other’s ideas by helping their children to get into the best universities and get the best jobs. Keith quickly realized that success generated more success, and that’s why the rich got even richer.
For him, poverty was not only lacking in financial conditions but rather staying isolated from the people who could help him become more successful. At that golf club, he learned about the importance of relationships.
Today, everyone is looking to grow their network of contacts and meet new people to become more successful. But Keith takes a different approach to the concept of networking.
Real networking is about making the other a more successful person.
Going to a conference and collecting dozens of business cards and saving them for use only when you need them is not true networking. We tend to keep business cards as a trophy, but a few days after the event, we no longer remember the face behind that card.
After that, we go to social networks like LinkedIn to see if there is a photo there that helps us remember who that person really was.
That is not enough anymore. For Keith, if you really want to grow your contacts and network, you need to help people become more successful, so they will care more about you and truly value that relationship.
And the more valuable relationships you can build, the more valuable you become to yourself, your clients and your friends. To become a connector, you must not manage transactions but actual relationships.
Do Not Keep ScoreOne of the most important lessons of Never Eat Alone is Keith's rule of never keeping score, never counting the points when you are talking about networking. If you understand networking as a transaction of one thing in exchange for another, it will not be successful.
If someone calls you and asks you a simple favor, which you really can help, just do it and do not count it as a point. Relationships are not finite resources, they are living beings, and if you want to connect with someone honestly, you must wish that person well.
Never expect anything in exchange for some favor. Your joy should come from the ability to help someone. What is your mission? A vast network of contacts is useless if you have no goals and for Keith, a goal is a dream come true.
To know what your goals are and create a plan, you need to follow 3 simple steps. First, answer: What do I really love doing?
Then ask yourself: What would I like to do for the rest of my life? Write down the answers on paper, break them into smaller goals that you can gradually accomplish and begin to achieve.
To be even more successful, create advice from people you admire in the area of your dreams by creating a connection with them. How to reach them? The rest of this microbook will help you!
Build Your Network Before You Need ItIf you want to be able to count on people in the future, you need to create your network of relationships before you need it and this is done through planning.
Many wait until they need others to connect and that makes them fail, after all nobody wants to connect with someone who is constantly seeking help. Start your network as soon as possible, and when you need it, it will be working.
To start your network, you can join local groups that interest you, take leadership positions on something voluntary, enroll in a class of interest.
The more you expose yourself to people, the more chances you have of accomplishing your goals.
Lose The Fear of Developing Your NetworkingMost people are a little afraid or insecure about starting new relationships and getting close to others. But for Keith, it's all a matter of practice, and if you strive, you'll be able to develop this skill to mastery.
To feel comfortable in social situations, they recommend that you study those who have more social skills than you. Observe how they act in social situations, their communication, posture and try to bring some of it to yourself.
The next step is to learn to communicate better and develop your rhetoric.
Talk more, analyze your conversations and learn from them. To start developing your network of contacts, you also need to build courage and get started, and the best way to learn is by practicing.
Set up a strategy to meet at least one new person per week and keep practicing consistently. Also, it is important that you put your brain into a generosity mode. Ask yourself: How can I help this person?
People tend to follow reciprocity, and if you help them, they will want to help you too.
Search For Common PointsMeeting others is not about how much time you invest in the relationship, but about how you invest your time with them.
Your friendships, for example, are based on a lot of time invested that allowed you to find many points in common with them.
Finding common ground is also the key to starting new relationships. An example of a good common ground in a relationship could be a shared activity or interest. Pay attention to what people say, listen actively and capture the commonalities.
They can come from the sport, a good restaurant, a hobby, politics, in short, from every aspect of your life and the person’s life.
Another interesting point is to approach people in social events because in them we are much more relaxed, authentic and accessible. There is no better time to actually meet someone than on occasions when he is actually having fun.
Of course, on such occasions, you should also be prepared to have a good chat. To do this, you need to follow a fundamental rule: the best way to keep a good conversation is not to talk about everything.
But be considerate, honest and open with the other person. Instead of banal conversations, you should always share something interesting or establish an enlightening conversation.
The other person will have good memories of you and admire you in every encounter you have.
Do Not Be A Pain At The Networking EventHave you ever been to an event that had an annoying person, stuffing people and apparently only interested in networking? Yeah, do not be this guy! And for that, Keith brings us 6 powerful rules.
- Do not hesitate, be direct: If you have something to speak, speak and speak with passion. Be sincere and truthful.
- Do not gossip: Using gossip is an easy affair, but it will not generate value for you in the long run. You will be stuck with it, and eventually, you will run out of the news, losing your value and your confidence to people.
- Do not go empty-handed: You have to be generous with your time and your ideas.
- Never mistreat those below you: Treat everyone with respect, always.
- Be transparent: Be true to yourself.
- Do not focus on efficiency: Nothing is less sincere than an email sent to dozens of people. Make few meaningful connections individually.
Do your homework. If there is someone you want to meet, it’s good to prepare.
Your homework is to know what things that person likes, what they do and especially to identify common points that you have. Use Google and Linkedin to find out.
Take notes and prepare for each scheduled meeting. Doing your homework, you have something to break the ice and make a good first impression.
Never Eat AloneLunch is a great meal to connect with people, and if you're having lunch alone, you're missing out on a great chance to connect with someone. Join groups, invite diverse people and introduce people.
The more you connect people, the easier it gets to make new connections.
Do Proper Follow-UpsOne of the most important things about networking is to follow up after a meeting or meeting someone.
Send an email or a written note thanking the person for a personal touch. A handwritten note shows that you care and really invested your time to do something personal.
Dominate The Conference GameGoing to a conference? Do not sit around doing anything and just watching the lectures or think that a conference is like a vacation. Plan your goals first and make a list of the people you want to meet. Find out beforehand who will be present, even if you have to call the organizers asking.
Do not forget your list and make notes of each new contact. Also, at a conference, it’s a good idea not to focus on the speaker. There are many other people there spending their time harassing the speaker and waiting in line can be a waste of time.
If you really want to talk to him, do it before the lecture, because afterward, all will want to talk to him. Another tip is to meet the conference organizers and bigwigs and stick with them.
All the important people of an event gravitate around them, and this can generate good connections for you.
When you come back from the conference, write on paper summarizing for yourself what you did and what you learned. If you do not, you’ll forget everything later.
Connecting to ConnectorsIf you want to take your network to a new level, you need to connect to people who already have thousands of contacts.
They are the connectors. While it is possible for connectors to operate in a variety of areas, they tend to appear more frequently in certain areas, and the main ones are:
- Journalism and public relations;
- Owners of bars and restaurants.
Health, Wealth, And ChildrenUnderstand that 3 specific subjects, children, health, and wealth are the key to connecting with people's hearts.
If someone needs help getting a job, putting the kids in a better school or for a medical treatment that you could help, simply help.
If you can connect and help someone in any of these 3 areas, you will be able to create a long and lasting relationship, and the gratitude of the people is enormous.
Be Interesting and Build Your BrandPeople do not want to connect with jerks or people they consider annoying. But you do not need to be annoying while making a constant effort to become interesting.
For this, be informed about the news, have interesting points of view on matters of public interest.
Also, asking seemingly silly questions demonstrates your willingness to learn and interest in people.
Knowing how to ask questions is an art that you must master. If you ask the right questions, people engage, they begin to talk freely, and instantly you become more interesting. In addition to becoming interesting, it is important that you build a personal brand.
Find out what value you generate for people. Ask yourself:
- What do people think when they hear my name?
- What makes me different or special?
- What are my strengths and weaknesses?
- Which of my achievements am I proudest of?
You need to think seriously about your clothes, talk style, hairstyle, business cards, letterhead and your office.
All this communicates to the world the message of your brand. Understand this and cultivate your personal brand from there.
Promoting Your BrandOnce you have a brand, you need to be able to promote it! The best way to do this is to become your own PR agent. This means that you must accept the spotlight and always seek the positive attention of people.
Take the initiative and accept being exposed when it comes to presenting things, speaking in public, etc.
You also need to think about how to deal with the negative aspects of your brand.
All you do not need is negative attention. You should not, for example, ask for a raise for your boss if you did not perform satisfactorily. This draws attention to you in a negative way.
Mentor And Be MentoredJust as great artists have mentors with whom they have worked for years, so does the business world: young people can learn a lot from more experienced professionals.
If you want to evolve and succeed in your career, you should be looking for mentors at all times.
In addition to learning from them, they can also be a bridge to new contacts. To have a successful mentoring relationship, you need to be generous and vulnerable. Help your mentor and tell him your challenges honestly and transparently.
Another important point is not only to ask for help but to provide timely feedback on your challenges. Keep in touch, always connecting with him to ensure that the relationship strengthens and consolidates.
Another important point is to mentor people. Find people who want to be mentored and help them achieve their goals.
The mentor/mentoree relationship is fantastic because it creates a space for you to ask for help, but also to help others all the time.
Final Notes:The first step to growing your network of contacts is to not only do networking by doing but to create long-term relationships with people.
You need to altruistically help them and never keep score. Grow your network of contacts gradually and keep it alive, because you never know when you will need it.
The important thing is that you are really well-intentioned in helping and this will eventually come back to you through fortuitous connections in your network.