Originally published at: https://blog.12min.com/effective-apology-summary/
Mending Fences, Building Bridges, and Restoring Trust
On the other side of the famous movie Love Story, a new asset is proving to be crucial in maintaining a healthy relationship -“I’m sorry.”
We clarify why, how, when and where, should you use this thesis.
Who Should Read "Effective Apology"? And Why?Saying sorry don’t cost anything, but affects everything. In reality, neglecting someone’s feelings is terrible, and yet remediablе. John Kador explains how actually to start the whole process and why you should back your regret with an action.
This book warmly presents many aspects of the relationship-building process. No discriminations exist on any stage because any person who is eager to meet someone’s needs will find this book attracting.
About John KadorJohn Kador is author born on December 8th, 1950 in Budapest, Hungary. He wrote many fact-filled books including “Net Ready: Strategies for Success in the E-conomy” a New York Times bestseller.
His writing abilities granted him an opportunity to perform as a ghostwriter as well.
Despite his writing career, he is also a speaker and consultant on leadership related matters.
"Effective Apology Summary"Egoless personalities have no problems expressing apologies or other acts of regret. Nevertheless, that doesn’t inherently mean that the words have been said with pure intention. Not been able to share thoughts on a deeper level is a sign of emotional immaturity.
Generally speaking, people tend to make the whole dating, relationship, and love process a big deal. It’s really quite simple to do your part in any interaction or connection. The development of trustworthy interpersonal bonds relies on the art of apologizing.
Many relationship experts indicate the importance of having a healthy relationship because it affects all other daily aspects. Nobody expects from you to become the “perfect person,” but improvement and growth must be a part of your long-term objectives.
Quotes like, avoid making mistakes or don’t let anyone hurt/deceive you are nonsense. Given these points, the author signals that it’s acceptable for a person to miscalculate something. Realize the natural state of being, you cannot be a better version than you are now; you can grow, but that is pretty much it.
Knowing how to apologize and when surely is a rare skill. A sincere and warm apology can neutralize bitterness, heal a broken heart, provoke hugging, and reshape or renew relationships. Experts agree that arguments also have an essential role in transforming relationships into a stronger union.
Moreover, allowing the ego to interfere in shaping a relationship is a sign of despair and dishonesty. Immorality and misbehavior can produce massive consequences for building future relations and connections. People should get to know the “apology side” and leave the pride aside for a moment.
The capability to offer an apology speaks a lot about you, a refusal, on the other hand, can force you to carry a heavy burden for a long time. Ultimately, it all comes down to principles. Since the beginning of human civilization; kings, queens, emperors, sultans, rulers, conquerors, and leaders shared the same aversiveness towards feeling sorry or guilty.
Apologizing was seen as a symbol of weakness, and vulnerability because according to their beliefs – kingdom requires a strong, independent and cruel ruler. However, John Kador gives the “apology” a whole new perspective, entirely different from the societally imposed one.
He outlines the ﬁve crucial elements of conducting an adequate apology –“recognition, responsibility, remorse, restitution and repetition” – and clarifies not just how they affect your life but to implement them in everyday situations.
Nowadays, technology recognizes the need for having 24h, video-sharing Web sites for exposing blunders and creating sections for commenting, reviews, and shaping public opinion. Nevertheless, the real process begins face-to-face; those interactions tend to get the best out of any person.
Be prepared to get closer to someone’s heart by offering your apologies. Under those circumstances, no apology is sincere enough, if it lacks promise that such an action would never be repeated.
If evolution, has delivered to us new ways to bring mistakes to light, it’s time to utilize those technologies now, more than ever. Even you will appreciate if someone admits that a misunderstanding has occurred and offered his/her apologies.
Detailed research has been done combined with real examples of people who’ve shared their “apologizing” successes and failures. Never underestimate the sense of regret, because sooner or later, all people find themselves in difficult surroundings. You are not Genghis Khan, Alexander the Great, Napoleon, King Henry, Sultan Suleiman nor any other self-centered ruler.
This world demands true personalities, who will take the “apologizing” attitude to the next level. We enter the process with a goal in mind, to help the society to rebuild broken relationships, and restart those connections with integrity and respect.
Key Lessons from “Effective Apology”1. Offense is worse than a punch 2. Accept the guilt 3. Confront the notion of being ashamed
Offense is worse than a punchAfter saying the magic word “sorry,” the injured/offended party will be curious about your intentions. Do you plan to make things right?
Make sure that you restore the lost trust by attempting to ﬁx the mistakes – made earlier.
Accept the guiltBy all means, it’s not possible to conduct the remorse process without even accepting the responsibility for making a false move.
Don’t blame others, deal with the burden on your shoulders. Often, people seek absolution, which is wrong – focus on what the victim needs from you at the present moment.
Confront the sensation of being ashamedIt’s not a rocket-science discovery to say that people refuse to acknowledge their guilt.
In general, the reason for such behavior is to avoid the sense of feeling vulnerable and weak.
People hate being judged, that’s why they keep their embarrassing moments to themselves.
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“Effective Apology” Quotes[bctt tweet="Apology is humanity’s perfect response to imperfection." username="get12min"]
[bctt tweet=“There are three things that are real: accidents, human fallibility, and apology.” username=“get12min”]
[bctt tweet=“Whining and tweaking and…spinning are all gone when you take responsibility for your own role – no more, no less – in what goes on.” username=“get12min”]
[bctt tweet=“I’m sorry’ are the two most powerful words of any apology.” username=“get12min”]
[bctt tweet=“Effective apology is not easy. Some apologies are better than others, and some apologies are worse than no apology at all.” username=“get12min”]
Our Critical Review"Effective Apology" outlines the transition from personhood to spaciousness.
In other words, this transformation refers to allowing your mind to interpret mistakes as an integral part of one’s life, but in the meantime, being able to ask for forgiveness if such thing is necessary.